Every year the dreaded day comes, ends the cycle of endless fun, rest, and staying up all night: The first day of school. Dark morning bus ride, fluorescent lights flickering overhead, and a stomach full of butterflies as you walk up to your first period wondering, will I even know anyone? Talking to strangers is one of the hardest parts of being human, but it is not impossible.
For starters, you have to remember that you are not alone! Thousands, if not millions, of students have experienced the same feelings you are right now, almost as if it’s a rite of passage to teenage hood. Making new friends is scariest part of school (excluding the war zone that is the bathrooms), but it doesn’t have to be! I know from personal experience that high school students are too caught up in themselves even to notice any silly imperfections; just be yourself and don’t worry about how you look or are acting.
But how do you start talking to someone? I always like to start with a simple question: When is this due? Or, dDo you know how to do this? It gets the conversation flowing, and once they answer, you can follow up with a “this class is so hard” or “I’m so tired” because nothing connects high school students more than the shared hatred of, ironically, high school. If that doesn’t appeal to you, a compliment always works! Ask them about their makeup - what products do they use? Then follow up with a, “I’m looking for a new concealer!” (or the male/non-binary equivalent). Once you realize that it really isn’t that serious, things will get better. However, it is easier said than done: you can hype yourself up in the mirror all you want, but actually initiating a conversation is way harder.
The only way to get better is to keep doing it!! Keep putting yourself out there, and if you embarrass yourself, just think of it like practicing: nobody ever learns how to ride a bike without falling. In fact, no one ever learns anything without failing at least once! It’s better to initiate the conversation and have it gone nowhere than spend the whole year wondering what may have happened if you pushed away your fears. I met some of my best friend's freshman year in my Spanish 2 class. Wide-eyed and still not quite self-aware, naive little me walked into the classroom with absolutely no one I knew. And the worst part? The majority of the students were boys, and boys at the ripe age of 14 terrified me. That first day, I sat in the front of the classroom alone and I HATED it. All my other classes were great except for Spanish 2, and I dreaded returning.
However, on the second day, I decided to sit with a group of the only 3 girls in class. At first, I thought I must have looked incredibly stupid, but I just decided to breathe and go along with it what’s the worst that can happen? I asked a simple question, followed it up with a statement (look at me following my own advice) and from there, the conversation just kept going! We talked about things we all hated - like waking up so early, and things we all loved - like reading and Taylor Swift! Finding things in common was definitely the most crucial catalyst in our relationship, and those three girls are now my best friends, with Spanish 2 being my favorite freshman class. I seriously cannot imagine high school without one of them, and it just leaves me wondering - what would’ve happened if I didn’t talk to them that first day? How different would my life be? I am so proud of myself for choosing to communicate with them, as I did something completely out of my comfort zone, and it turned out to be one of the best things I have done.
This is me encouraging you: The worst thing that can happen is you embarrass yourself and everyone forgets a day later, but so many good things can come out of a new friendship. Support, connections, and different experiences are all things I have come to gather after talking to more people. Do not let yourself wonder what could have happened if you had just been brave, and do not pass up ANY opportunity to make new friends. Just think about all the people you might have missed in your haze of self-critics. Friendship is one of humanity's most beautiful things, so step out of your comfort zone and make new connections!